The Psychotic Letter X
The Psychotic Letter X
Scene Index
Written, performed, produced, and recorded by: Andrew Abraido
Written and recorded February - June 2010
The lyrics for The Psychotic Letter X are some of Andrew's strongest musings to date. The lyrics focus on telling the story, yet retain the same metaphoric and image-rich style that's been a primary component of Andrew's lyrical work since American Beauty Syndrome.
The lyrics on this aural film are extremely focused and pretty raw in nature. There is a lot of sexual dialect (both explicit and implied) as well as easily the most profanity featured in either Andrew's solo or collaborative work with Daniel. The reason was to further drive home the themes of wretchedness, entitlement, and the basic "I don't give a fuck about anyone except myself" attitude.
As with most of if not all of his work, The Psychotic Letter X lyrics contain cinematic nods. The main one here is to Michael Haneke's film The White Ribbon. Andrew brings in the motif of the "ribbon" early on in the album, which retains the same meaning as it does in the film: a sort of illusion of innocence. The overt cinematic references start and stop with The White Ribbon this time around, as Andrew instead tried to craft an imagery all his own.
The ever-present notion of "ghosts" returns here as well, a staple for almost every album Andrew has worked on from Here Is Not Better's "The Phantom". This time around, the ghost takes the form of the protagonist's vision of the perfect woman: a heavily tattooed muse with an insatiable sexual appetite.
All in all, Andrew feels as though the lyrics on this aural film speak for themselves, serve their storytelling function with an increased sense of purpose, and ultimately make for the most digestible and accessable narrative he's written yet.
Sleeping Homes
Hear a tale of future life I've made
Shitting gold but conscience on its way
Into darkness my ribbon will fade
Purity a lie that I have laid
Into sleeping homes I will invade
Just to get them spreading out and unafraid
To call me
By my name
To call me
By my name
The letter....
The Psychotic Letter X
From this conscience I have learned to stray
Alphabetic silhouettes are made
And now my name is X
From this letter I have learned to slay
Into her I slip without a trace
Showing off my X.
Despicability
Before you
Worship me
Closely look
At the life I lead
I've got gold
Between my sheets
But there's things
That I still need
Like the taste
Of teenaged cells
Reminds me
How I fell
For the first
Still chasing full
Long since been
Despicable
My gold is
Double X
And to her my ribbon
Is as white
As a dove
But it's covered in blood
From the depths
I've explored
While she slept alone.
Dirty Passenger
It's time
To ride
And replace the dark
With dirty array
That's mine
We find
That this love is gone
Or going away
With time
Rewind
Now whose heart is this
All dead on the floor
It's mine
One more time
My mind
Projecting this:
A dirty display
That blinds
I find
That this is a life
I cannot betray
This drive
Keeps me alive
I must obey
And bone to pleasure
My filthy passenger.
Sex With Strangers
Have you ever run into a stranger
Have you gone home with such a stranger
Have you ever gotten naked with the stranger
Have you ever made it with a stranger
YES I HAVE
To all the nameless
Into whom I've sown my seeds
I never loved you
But thanks for feeding my disease
I know I'm despicable
But I don't care
Feels so good to slide inside
And to pull their hair
I'll tag every "p" I see
I don't want to stop
Does that mean there's something wrong with me
I can still feel its voice
Echoing through her loins:
"Remember to stay safe
And cover up your tracks my boy".
The Dissector
Frantic
Pining
Helpless
Feeling like something is wrong
Scalpel
Scissors
Now I'll dig in for the truth
Emails
Perfume
Nothing, shit this man is smart
Pausing
Undoing
Fuck all this picking apart
He is my sky and my moon
And me his goon
This all must be a mistake
He would not break
My soul unless there was a hole
A void
A cut
That couldn't be sealed with my love
But how on earth would he get off
Thinking that I'm not good enough
I have a perfect body
I have a perfect body
And how in the hell would he get off
Thinking that we don't fuck enough
I give it when he wants it
I give it when he wants it.
Ladyfriend
She's the specter of my wettest dreams
Perfect pair and color tattoo sleeves
When I hunger she is quick to feed
She is always calling me
And she says:
"Hey future lover
Dream of no other
One day you'll see me
One day I will appear"
You're the lady that I denounce
You're the friend that I can't live without
And although you're still not human
I'll pursue your love through others
Vessels of the darkest strangers
Who will scream my name
You're the lady that I denounce
You're the friend that I can't live without
You're the beauty that I renounce
You're the phantom who I won't sleep without
But you know I'm growing tired
All my love it will expire
I just want to play inside her
As she screams my name
You're the feed for the electricity in me.
Wartime Mail
Dear my piece of gold,
You were everything at once. Your perfect body served it's purpose and now I have this to say: this is over. We are over. You fell in love with a gifted man, who with a sound could make them fall into his bed. So I've been spreading flesh and working hard inside to find my muse by chasing ghosts with voices between their thighs. Please don't act surprised. You can see that this is your lesson for falling for a GOD. And I don't care. No, I don't care. I can have anyone I want because I make this sound. Now everyone knows my name. They all scream for me on stage and in between my sheets. Please don't cry. You were everything I liked. But you fell in love with the completely wrong guy. And now I have one last thing to say before I sign. I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry.
Sincerely,
Your Letter X.
A Loss In Her House
Well now my heart is broken
My one love he has forsaken me
How can I fuel desire
When he blew out all the fire inside
I am feeling so fucked over
How could I love such an asshole
I am nothing more than nothing
If I were younger I just might die
But I won't play his victim
No, my skin is just too thick for that
Still I wish that things could be the same as they were before all the rain
I will show him that I am special and show off the thing's I've learned
Like how to ride it backwards and how to take it like a good girl
I'M MORE OF A FREAK
THAN HIS TATTOOED MYTH COULD EVER DREAM TO BE
I WILL SHOW HIM VIOLENCE
IN FORMS INVOLVING HIS HEAD AND THE FLOOR.
Needs Change
It's not so much that I'm an asshole
I just needed to feel some form of control
I feared I'd reached my peak
And there'd be nothing left to wake me from sleep
And then this theory of a ghost
Consumed my life and even worse
I don't know if she is real
And if she is how will she feel
All these bodies that surround me
Remind me I need exciting
Change of pace been fading slowly
And it's scaring shit out of me
Never meant to melt my gold
But I need someone else to hold
And see my needs are changing daily
I need someone to excite me
Still not much that I've received from them
Besides these lines now faded red
They're marks of temporary love
That pine away without regard
Of this path that I chose to ride
That killed my star and future bride
But brought me visions of a goddess
Who I swear I'll catch on film
All these bodies that surround me
Remind me I need exciting
Change of pace been fading slowly
And it's scaring shit out of me
Never meant to melt my gold
But I need someone else to hold
And see my needs are changing daily
I need someone to excite me.
Ghosts Need Film
I am the so-called
Specter of his dreams
Drenched in filth I am
Perfectly obscene
Show yourself to me
This camera is ready to explode
So come lie with me
There has yet to be any body
Who can resist me
And I know you've been calling me
If you want my call
He's of the same breed
As a serial
Killer with a seed
You are my ghost
Now BITCH get on my film
NO FUCKING WAY
YOU DESTROYED THE CLOSEST YOU'LL EVER COME
TO ME.