The Psychotic Letter X

The Psychotic Letter X

 

Scene Index

 

1) Sleeping Homes

2) The Psychotic Letter X

3) Despicability

4) Dirty Passenger

5) Sex With Strangers

6) The Dissector

7) Ladyfriend

8) Wartime Mail

9) A Loss In Her House

10) Needs Change

11) Ghosts Need Film

 

 

 

 

Written, performed, produced, and recorded by: Andrew Abraido

 

 

 

 

Written and recorded February - June 2010

 

 

 

 

The lyrics for The Psychotic Letter X are some of Andrew's strongest musings to date. The lyrics focus on telling the story, yet retain the same metaphoric and image-rich style that's been a primary component of Andrew's lyrical work since American Beauty Syndrome.

 

The lyrics on this aural film are extremely focused and pretty raw in nature. There is a lot of sexual dialect (both explicit and implied) as well as easily the most profanity featured in either Andrew's solo or collaborative work with Daniel. The reason was to further drive home the themes of wretchedness, entitlement, and the basic "I don't give a fuck about anyone except myself" attitude.

 

As with most of if not all of his work, The Psychotic Letter X lyrics contain cinematic nods. The main one here is to Michael Haneke's film The White Ribbon. Andrew brings in the motif of the "ribbon" early on in the album, which retains the same meaning as it does in the film: a sort of illusion of innocence. The overt cinematic references start and stop with The White Ribbon this time around, as Andrew instead tried to craft an imagery all his own.

 

The ever-present notion of "ghosts" returns here as well, a staple for almost every album Andrew has worked on from Here Is Not Better's "The Phantom". This time around, the ghost takes the form of the protagonist's vision of the perfect woman: a heavily tattooed muse with an insatiable sexual appetite.

 

All in all, Andrew feels as though the lyrics on this aural film speak for themselves, serve their storytelling function with an increased sense of purpose, and ultimately make for the most digestible and accessable narrative he's written yet.

Sleeping Homes

Hear a tale of future life I've made

Shitting gold but conscience on its way

Into darkness my ribbon will fade

Purity a lie that I have laid

Into sleeping homes I will invade

Just to get them spreading out and unafraid

To call me

By my name

To call me

By my name

The letter....

 

 

The Psychotic Letter X

From this conscience I have learned to stray

Alphabetic silhouettes are made

And now my name is X

 

From this letter I have learned to slay

Into her I slip without a trace

Showing off my X.

 

 

Despicability

Before you

Worship me

Closely look

At the life I lead

I've got gold

Between my sheets

But there's things

That I still need

Like the taste

Of teenaged cells

Reminds me

How I fell

For the first

Still chasing full

Long since been

Despicable

 

My gold is

Double X

And to her my ribbon

Is as white

As a dove

But it's covered in blood

From the depths

I've explored

While she slept alone.

 

 

Dirty Passenger

It's time

To ride

And replace the dark

With dirty array

That's mine

We find

That this love is gone

Or going away

With time

Rewind

Now whose heart is this

All dead on the floor

It's mine

 

One more time

My mind

Projecting this:

A dirty display

That blinds

I find

That this is a life

I cannot betray

This drive

Keeps me alive

I must obey

And bone to pleasure

My filthy passenger.

 

 

Sex With Strangers

Have you ever run into a stranger

Have you gone home with such a stranger

Have you ever gotten naked with the stranger

Have you ever made it with a stranger

YES I HAVE

 

To all the nameless

Into whom I've sown my seeds

I never loved you

But thanks for feeding my disease

 

I know I'm despicable

But I don't care

Feels so good to slide inside

And to pull their hair

I'll tag every "p" I see

I don't want to stop

 

Does that mean there's something wrong with me

 

I can still feel its voice

Echoing through her loins:

"Remember to stay safe

And cover up your tracks my boy".

 

 

The Dissector

Frantic

Pining

Helpless

Feeling like something is wrong

Scalpel

Scissors

Now I'll dig in for the truth

Emails

Perfume

Nothing, shit this man is smart

Pausing

Undoing

Fuck all this picking apart

 

He is my sky and my moon

And me his goon

This all must be a mistake

He would not break

My soul unless there was a hole

A void

A cut

That couldn't be sealed with my love

 

But how on earth would he get off

Thinking that I'm not good enough

I have a perfect body

I have a perfect body

 

And how in the hell would he get off

Thinking that we don't fuck enough

I give it when he wants it

I give it when he wants it.

 

 

Ladyfriend

She's the specter of my wettest dreams

Perfect pair and color tattoo sleeves

When I hunger she is quick to feed

She is always calling me

And she says:

 

"Hey future lover

Dream of no other

One day you'll see me

One day I will appear"

 

You're the lady that I denounce

You're the friend that I can't live without

 

And although you're still not human

I'll pursue your love through others

Vessels of the darkest strangers

Who will scream my name

 

You're the lady that I denounce

You're the friend that I can't live without

You're the beauty that I renounce

You're the phantom who I won't sleep without

 

But you know I'm growing tired

All my love it will expire

I just want to play inside her

As she screams my name

 

You're the feed for the electricity in me.

 

 

Wartime Mail

Dear my piece of gold,

 

You were everything at once. Your perfect body served it's purpose and now I have this to say: this is over. We are over. You fell in love with a gifted man, who with a sound could make them fall into his bed. So I've been spreading flesh and working hard inside to find my muse by chasing ghosts with voices between their thighs. Please don't act surprised. You can see that this is your lesson for falling for a GOD. And I don't care. No, I don't care. I can have anyone I want because I make this sound. Now everyone knows my name. They all scream for me on stage and in between my sheets. Please don't cry. You were everything I liked. But you fell in love with the completely wrong guy. And now I have one last thing to say before I sign. I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry.

 

Sincerely,

Your Letter X.

 

 

A Loss In Her House

Well now my heart is broken

My one love he has forsaken me

How can I fuel desire

When he blew out all the fire inside

I am feeling so fucked over

How could I love such an asshole

I am nothing more than nothing

If I were younger I just might die

 

But I won't play his victim

No, my skin is just too thick for that

Still I wish that things could be the same as they were before all the rain

I will show him that I am special and show off the thing's I've learned

Like how to ride it backwards and how to take it like a good girl

 

I'M MORE OF A FREAK

THAN HIS TATTOOED MYTH COULD EVER DREAM TO BE

I WILL SHOW HIM VIOLENCE

IN FORMS INVOLVING HIS HEAD AND THE FLOOR.

 

 

Needs Change

It's not so much that I'm an asshole

I just needed to feel some form of control

I feared I'd reached my peak

And there'd be nothing left to wake me from sleep

And then this theory of a ghost

Consumed my life and even worse

I don't know if she is real

And if she is how will she feel

 

All these bodies that surround me

Remind me I need exciting

Change of pace been fading slowly

And it's scaring shit out of me

Never meant to melt my gold

But I need someone else to hold

And see my needs are changing daily

I need someone to excite me

 

Still not much that I've received from them

Besides these lines now faded red

They're marks of temporary love

That pine away without regard

Of this path that I chose to ride

That killed my star and future bride

But brought me visions of a goddess

Who I swear I'll catch on film

 

All these bodies that surround me

Remind me I need exciting

Change of pace been fading slowly

And it's scaring shit out of me

Never meant to melt my gold

But I need someone else to hold

And see my needs are changing daily

I need someone to excite me.

 

 

Ghosts Need Film

I am the so-called

Specter of his dreams

Drenched in filth I am

Perfectly obscene

 

Show yourself to me

This camera is ready to explode

So come lie with me

There has yet to be any body

Who can resist me

And I know you've been calling me

 

If you want my call

He's of the same breed

As a serial

Killer with a seed

 

You are my ghost

Now BITCH get on my film

 

NO FUCKING WAY

YOU DESTROYED THE CLOSEST YOU'LL EVER COME

TO ME.